Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Twas the night before/

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net...

I didnt write this from scratch.  I found a version on the 'net and modified it to fit my style.  Please feel free to make comments.  Enjoy!

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
There were hacker's a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.
The hard drives were stacked by the magnets with care,
Just in case FBI soon would be there.
The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,
While visions of Java danced in their dreams.
My wife on the sofa thinks I’m a crackpot,
I just finished installing Linux, on my brand new laptop.
When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,
I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.
To a new page my PC flew like a flash,
Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!!
I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
My PC jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear.
When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,
I knew in a moment it must be st_nick1

More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came,
Then Nick glanced toward my screen, my PC called them by name;
'Now Compaq! Now Acer!', my speaker did reel;
'On Apple! On Gateway!' Santa started to squeal!
'Jump onto the circuits! And into the chip!
Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing hip!'
The screen gave a flicker, he was into my RAM,
Then into my room rose a full hologram!
He was dressed in all red, standing in my home,
Little did I know, I was 'bout to get Pwnd.
He pulled out some discs he had stored in his pack.
Santa looked like a dude who was rarin' to hack!
His eyes, how they twinkled! His glasses, how techno!
This ain't the same Santa that I used to know!
With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, gave my PC a quick poke,
And accessed my C drive with barely a stroke.
He defragged my hard drive, and added a DIMM,
Then threw in some cool games, just on a whim!
He worked without noise, he upgraded by drive!
He change it to a solid state, much to my surprise!
He updated Office, sent old files to recycle,
Then added a screensaver, with a Tron Light Cycle!
My eyes widened a bit, my mouth stood agape,
As he downloaded bootleg DVDs of Stargate!
The drive gave a whirl, as if it were pleased,
St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased.
Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose,
Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros!
He flew back into my screen and through my uplink,
Back into the net with barely a blink.
But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight,
'Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!'
Merry Christmas everyone!  Hope you got at least a chuckle from that.

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